How Support Can Help Your Mojo

Good Support Can Help Your Mojo

I explained earlier that I believe support is essential to having your mojo workin'.  There are two kinds of support, depending on when the support is received.

• Early support
• Current support

Early support is something that you had to help you get started or to build a particular mindset.  Current support is the support you rely on today.  If you had early support, in addition to building a mindset, you can express it over a long period of time going forward. It may even carry over to today.  On the other hand, currents support can be beneficial to today's events. A person who has good support may exhibit other characteristics that lead to more mojo, such as motivation, willingness to act, faith, and even the accumulation of expertise and experience. The earlier model is simplified and does not show these possibilities.  This post will concentrate on the past and the present, i.e., early and current support.

The relevant portion of the Webster definition of  support is help or assistance.  The usual delivery system for support is the family.  There is a lot of dispute, some political, about families and whether or not intact families are the best vehicles for delivering support,  However, there is little dispute that intact families are less stressful to children.  It is not a question of stress existing, say, in a divorce, but how the children react to stress that matters.

Talking about early support brings to mind the question of Tiger vs, Roger.  Is it better from the perspective of support, to choose one thing early and pour all of the child's and the parent's efforts into that thing or to take a broader approach, supporting a child to do a variety of things  and gain a variety of experiences?  Specialization can come later.  In my own learning about this question, I have come to the realization that the learning environment is essential.  Learning any activity involves a particular learning environment.  These environments fall into a spectrum from "kind" to "wicked."  A kind environment is one in which feedback is quick, certain, unchanging, and predictable.  The "rules" of the game are known, unchanging, and easily understood.  A wicked environment is the opposite.  Feedback is not certain, may be delayed, may vary, may even be wrong.  Rules may be unknown and may also change.  On the kind end are chess, golf, and math, in which people often excel at younger ages. On the wicked end are tennis, most team sports, cancer research, politics, writing, etc.  If your child takes an interest in an activity which can be learned in a kind environment, then it is an advantage to specialize early.  If not, then research shows that a period of exploration should be first, followed by later specialization, for best results.  Early support can take either approach, depending on the child's interest.

 

The effects of good early support can be seen before the actual performance takes place. Early support is love, in a word., and it is important for anyone to feel it.  It may be as simple as providing a welcoming environment that enables a child to decide what he or she likes to do. Sometimes, good support involves saying no or setting limits.  The world includes many adults who have never been told "no."  They can be self-centered and self destructive.

Having current support is sometimes though of as a person's "support system.'  It can be love, friendship, or simple acceptance.  It can be as easy as listening or as hard as giving careful advice.  A wise man once said that a true friend is someone who will tell you NOT to do something that you propose to do.  Understanding what you are experiencing helps your supporters.  Having had similar experiences also helps.

Many additional factors can determine what will happen. There are many examples of successful people who had a great family life, as well as examples of flawed people who didn't.  On the other hand, there are exceptions to everything.  Many people overcome being raised by single mothers, so there is no certainty in any of this.  However, in general, the more support you have, the better chance you will have more mojo.  Good support, early or current, allows you to go through the training, preparation, and preliminary steps before the performance.  Remember, you may have plenty of expertise, experience, luck, faith, and motivation, but if you do not have the support to help you, your mojo will suffer.